Happiness

Sometimes I am so happy that I feel like I am going to burst. Sometimes I am so happy that when I look back at my past I want to cry. Sometimes I am so happy I want to do a silly little dance. Sometimes I am so happy I want to shout it out from the tallest building in the world. Sometimes I am so happy I think I must be dreaming and I pinch myself to make sure I am still awake.

I was in Boston yesterday. BOSTON! I spent the day in your car and the night in your arms. I woke up this morning still in slight disbelief that this could be real, that this could be my life. I have always wanted to travel, just to see things. And now I'm doing it. Because of you I'm doing it. I have found what I was missing before, a fellow comrade, a traveler, an adventurer, a friend, a kindred spirit.

I was happy with my life when I met you. It was starting to look more like how I had always hoped it would. But I find that all of my happiest moments are with you. So please forgive me when I have a hard time letting go. I never want it to end. I'm still looking for way to hold onto it for a little bit longer. And every time I have to let go again it's a little bit harder.

I'm not saying I never want us to be a part. That would be crazy. I want everything for you. I want you to have a job you love, friends you enjoy seeing and somewhere you can lay your head that isn't stressful. I want you to still go to guys night and mow your mom's lawn and go to anime conventions and concerts. I just wish that when we parted it would be brief and because we wanted to. I wish that we didn't have to plan when we would see each other next or figure things out.

Until then I will take what I have. Pure happiness that you're in my life at all. And a tenacious need to see you as often as possible. I love you.