Nothing Is Impossible

It has been almost a year. December 9, 2010. About ten more days. Wow. Things are definitely different for me now.

I spend my days at work, with friends or chilling out at home watching tv on the internet. No more homework, no more classes, no more Farmington or school. I'm a college graduate who blew her supervisors and mentors away with her performance during her student teaching. I still haven't found the job of my dreams but I'm looking and I'm getting closer every day.

I no longer worry that the man I love is going to move away from me and go to grad school somewhere so far away that I won't be able to follow. Now I worry that I will be the one moving away. However, I have faith in the one I love and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this new relationship work.

The world doesn't seem as cut and dry. It isn't about occasionally eating out, going to the movies, and cuddling on the couch. It is much more alive and interesting. There are still days spent watching netflix and not bothering to put on real clothes but now there are also road trips, game nights, parties, weddings, yard work, birthdays, graduations, movies, the mall, the beach, exploring, hiking, live shows, music, festivals, pirates, adventures, and so much more. The list grows every day.

My life is looking more and more like me every day. It is looking more like how I always wanted to live it. Fun, exciting, a little spontaneous, happy and busy. The world seems to have gotten bigger. The possibilities seem endless.

If there is one thing I learned in the past year it's that nothing is impossible.

Who I Am With You And How I Love You

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
~Roy Croft~

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach."
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning~

Loving Being Wrong

So I've been sick. I woke up Saturday with a headache well, actually it was more like a face ache. And I had hoped it was just that I had slept in too late. But then I woke up yesterday and it was worse. It was too hard to ignore the evidence I had an full blown painful sinus infection. Then I cried because I felt like shit but I knew I couldn't afford to miss work. They only scheduled me for 24 hours this week. So I got up and went to work. While at work I realized what I really wanted more than anything else was for Garrett to come take care of me and to cuddle with me. Normally I don't ask him to come look in on me when I know he is probably busy because I know I would feel bad and selfish. But I felt like I really needed him. So I asked him to come. He said he had to work Monday. So I suggested that he come the night before or after work Monday or that he simply skip work. I thought he would know that it was pretty serious since I pretty much never ask him to skip work for me. The boy said he couldn't because he needed to wash his work clothes for the next day. I told him that was a lame excuse and he agreed with me. I was furious. So I told him I was mad at him. I mean after all the things I do for him. I cook for him, I have taken care packages to him when he hasn't felt well, I have done his dishes for him before, I have baked him things to cheer him up, I have gone to the doctors with him. I have done everything in my power to make him happy. And I don't usually ask him to just come and hold me. And he was denying me something so simple because he had to do laundry.

He apparently was kidding. He had decided to give me the lamest answer possible so that I would know it was simple a stupid excuse so that he could come to Augusta and surprise me. I was flabbergasted. I felt so bad for doubting him. For thinking that he wouldn't want to come take care of me. I guess I am just used to putting in and putting in and not getting everything I need in return. I think part of me expected a no and when I saw it in a text message I didn't take any time at all to question it.

I should have more faith in him. He is so supportive of me. Even though I ask him how he feels about me maybe moving farther away for a teaching job he refuses to give an answers. He doesn't want to color my decision. He wants me to do what is right for me and my career regardless of his feelings. He does little things to make me smile all the time. I should have known he wouldn't hurt me like that. That he would want to be here for me as much as I want to be here for him.

I love that. I love this. I love him.