Work

I can no longer work at Staples. For one thing I am tired of the politics that are involved in all retail jobs. For another I can no longer support myself on what I make there. I decided I would look for a new job and leave Staples. I found a new job.

Things moved really quickly. Ruby Tuesdays called me and asked me to come in for an interview. I did. They asked nothing about me, my past, my goals, or my experiences. I was informed that I would be working their salad bar and given a description of the job. Then I was given the job. I was asked to come in the next day for an orientation. I found myself giving my two weeks notice at Staples before going to the orientation. At the orientation I filled out all the necessary paperwork, went through the employee hand book and then immediately started training with an associate there.

I find that I am having major regrets involving my decision to take this job. It is no where near what I want to do. I want to teach. My mom and I did not work our butts off getting me into a good college so that I could work in the kitchen at some restaurant. I did not struggle through 4 years of school at the nations top college for education so that I could not use my degree.

I find myself washing bathrooms, scrubbing floors, doing dishes, cutting vegetables, making salads, running from one end of the kitchen to the other and I'm not even sure why. So that I can make some money? So I can keep a roof over my head, food in my stomach, gas in the car, lights on, and the creditors off my back? Is that really a good enough reason to settle for the first opportunity that comes along?

I know I should be happy to have a job at all. I know that I should be glad to be working and not out on the streets. I am happy to work. I don't mind hard work. I just feel so destroyed that I can't seem to make my dreams come true. Isn't getting the job supposed to be the easy part so long as I have the right kind of education and skill set?

My mom thinks that I don't like this new job because I feel like I am better than this. She is probably right. However, that just makes me even more upset and mad. When did I get so stubborn and proud? Don't I have any humility at all?

I worked at Ruby Tuesdays tonight. I was there till almost midnight. I'm sore all over. I feel like I smell vegetables and sweat. I'm tired. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. I went and spent money I shouldn't have to eat at Denny's because I have no groceries, they were open, and I just wanted to eat a meal I didn't have to prepare or clean up myself. I'm so tired I didn't want to cook or clean up. I was willing to pay the price. I have been on my feet all day.

I spent my night at work running to and fro. I barely talked to any one. My brain was else where. I was doing at least 3 things at the same time all night. The job is fast paced and it involves a lot of juggling. But no skills. There is absolutely nothing about it that is fun or interesting. At least at Staples it was fun to make free samples and to interact with new people. I barely interact with anyone at this job. I don't have time.

I keep telling myself that this is temporary. But every time I say there is this little voice in the back of my head that whispers, "Staples was just temporary when you started there too. You thought you'd get a job in Farmington." What if this isn't temporary? What if I am doing this for a while?

Needless to say I am not ceased my job hunt. I just want to find a job where I like at least one thing. Where I genuinely enjoy at least one aspect. At Staples it was creating things, the other employees, and getting to meet new people (the nice ones any way). Here, there isn't anything.