Back to the Beginning

Well, I quit my job at Ruby Tuesdays. I took my job back at Staples. I decided that the money wasn't worth being miserable all the time. So I'm back to making enough to pay the bills barely. Garrett moved in here and that has helped some. It means I can pay my loans more easily. I still need to call FAME again. They want me to pay 75 dollars every month and that is just interest. I can't afford to do that. I'm hoping they can help me figure something else out.

In the mean time it is back to square one. Working at Staples and looking for teaching jobs. The hiring season is coming back around and I should have even more time to look now. I applied for some ed tech III jobs today and I put together a packet for a long term sub job at Bonny Eagle. I really hope I get one of them. I just want to teach. I love teaching.

I knew that pursuing this dream would be hard. I knew that teachers don't make a lot of money. I knew that I would be broke. I knew that there would be a lot of hard work to get the degree and education I would need in order to teach. No one told me how hard it would be to get the job. No one said that it might be year before I do. No one said that there were teachers out of school subbing and just waiting for an opening to come up in their district. I thought I would be competing with new grads and veteran teachers. I didn't know about the hordes of people waiting in line already. People who have been out of school for years just waiting to get a job in their area.

I often wonder if maybe I should do that. Everyone keeps asking me why I don't sub. I have been worried that if I do that then I won't have a steady pay check every week. I need to know what I will make so I can pay my bills. But maybe I could work at Staples on the weekends and sub during the week? Garrett is living here with me now though and I don't want to have to burden him with things like gas for my car, my car insurance or my student loans. Those bills are mine and mine alone. If I cut my hours at Staples down to 16 or so a week then I risk not always being able to pay those. It will depend on the circumstances. Then again I would have the chance to make 60 dollars a day subbing. That is more than I make at Staples some days.

I'm never sure any more what gives me the best chance of getting a job. I'm not sure how to keep taking care of myself. I know that my family is always there for me but right now I hate to ask any of them for help. I know they are going through even harder time than I am. If only I could see into the future...