Day #2 My Crush

Dear Crush,

I have liked you for a very long time. Close to 4 years. I can still remember the day I met you. It was probably the most awkward situation that I had been in in a long time. You were my exes best friend (or so he told me repeatedly) and you and I shared all the same friends but we had never really talked before. I had no idea what kind of preconceived notions about me you might have or if you and I would get along. I remember that first conversation. I remember laughing till there were tears. I knew that at the very least, you were someone I could have fun with.

I remember passing notes, then talking on aim and then that spiraling into emails back and forth. I don't remember the exact day that I realized I had feelings for you but I do remember the day I realized it could happen if I wasn't careful. we had spent all night talking online about risks. What risks we should take, was it ever really worth it take any risks at all and if it was then when. we talked about the idea that there could be no happiness, no triumph without the possibility of failure. I don't think I had ever had a more deep, personal and meaningful philosophical discussion in my life. At least not with any one that I could hold my end with. not with any one that could keep up with me. Our intellects were well matched. I went to bed smiling that night, imagining the conversations we could have in the future. I knew a boy that could make me smile that much just by talking to me about life was someone I could fall in love with.

Sometimes my descent into complete helpless love for seems like it was a slow fall. But it certainly snuck up on me as a surprise. By the time we had known each other for 2 months I was already making excuses to friends and family about why you and I were just friends. Maybe I really knew all along and I was just hiding it from myself. I'm not really sure.

What I do know for sure though is that know, even after being with you for almost 4 years I am still hopelessly and madly in love with you. I have fallen for you utterly and completely.


Love Always
Dani