Dear Ryan,
I am really glad that you and I are sort of friends now. When we parted I was certain we would be. Mostly because I was angry. I wasn't even all that angry with you really for dumping me, over aim I might add.I was more angry cause I had known that we had been over for 4 months. I had just not wanted to admit it. We had returned to school and despite my frequent tries to see you, you were always busy. I should have known what that I meant. But I didn't. Probably because when I did see you, everything was the same as it always was. You were trying to push me just a little farther and I was not letting you. I wasn't in love with you.
I didn't tell you tat at the time. I mean, I did love you. You had been my best friend since first grade. We had ridden the bus everyday together before I moved. I just wasn't in love with you. I couldn't be. I was still trying to run away.
I was angry with myself after we were over because I hadn't loved you and I knew it but I let you use me and I used you a little back. I needed you. Not in the physical way you wanted me too though. I needed you to make me think I felt safe again and that everything was god again. That everything in my life was normal again. I was a wreck after Isaac. And I didn't realize how bad it was. I realize it now though. I guess the cliche, "hind sight is 20/20" is dead on.
I can't say that I am sorry for how things worked out though. I think we have both realized that we are better as friends. I like that. Thanks for being my friend.
Your Friend,
Dani
No comments:
Post a Comment