Over the Edge

As she raced away from the ground and back towards the cliff a gentle smile touched her features.

She flew among the clouds for a while enjoying her new freedom but she knew that inevitably she would need to return to the ground, to the cliff and the gentle voice that cooed to her about falling. Gently and slowly she angled herself back towards that cliff, dreading the moment when the sensation of flight would end. The moment when her feet touched the ground again came all too soon for her.
It was there that she saw who the voice belonged to. It was indeed the voice of an old friend and there he stood at the edge of the cliff looking down like he was searching for her ruined body at the bottom.

“Hello, friend” she said from behind him. He seemed slightly startled to hear her voice coming from behind him as he whipped around quickly to face her.

“Hello. I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.”

“No, I don’t imagine you were. After all, you were the one who convinced me to jump.” A small smirk appeared on his mouth. He knew he could no longer deny that it had been he whispering in her ear about jumping. He also knew that she knew he had expected her to fail.

“I see you found your wings.”

“Of course I did. Too bad you don’t have a pair of your own.” And without a word more she rushed at him across the cliff. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him, one over his left shoulder and the other hooked under his right armpit. She used her feet and her wings to overpower him, forcing them both back over the edge of the cliff.

This Will Make It Into a Story Some Day

"Don't worry, baby. I'll be the one to lead you out of the darkness."

What I Needed

I have been trying to keep teaching away from this blog. However, I realized the title of this blog is still "Of Love, Life, Writing and Everything in Between." Whether I like it or not, teaching is all of the above. It is currently the thing I love the most about my life. It currently is my life. I live, sleep and breathe it every day. Even when I am not in the classroom I am thinking about it or talking about it. I am writing about it every day on my other blog and in reflections I am doing for my field supervisor. I am sure it is in all of my conversations, my facebook statuses and every other aspect of my life. When something permeates your being so completely it is hard to keep it out of anything. Teaching has been everything I hoped for and more. It has made me happy again. It is truly the most fun thing I have ever done. I am more exhausted than ever, I am more uncertain about everything I am doing every day and yet I am sure that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am so happy that I didn't let things going on in my love life derail me. I am so glad that I didn't take time to back away from school like I had thought about doing. This is what I needed.

Single on Valentine's Day

So this is the first time that I will be single on Valentine's Day in a very long time. At first this fact was very depressing. But I have come up with some plans to cheer myself up. First, I made my mentor teacher a cake as Valentine's Day is her birthday. I am letting it cool now before I frost it. It is Red Velvet and it is going to have cream cheese frosting. Yum. It will be a great way to surprise her. Next, I made plans to go out to eat in Augusta with Mel and Ernie. The three of us are going to get dressed up and have a wonderful time not caring about Valentine's Day. Then last but not least I decided to not focus on what I am not getting and to focus on what others are not getting. I have these three guy friends at Staples who I know are probably not getting anything for Valentine's Day. The three of us have kind of been having a crappy time in the love department of our lives. I decided to surprise the with a small gift from me. I bought them each a ten dollar gift card to subway, then I wrote them a note from me thanking them for being such awesome friends. I put them in envelopes with their names on them. I am going to leave them for them at Staples tomorrow. The three of them are really good guys and they deserve to be treated better than they have been. I hope that this shows them that at least one girl out there cares. I know I will probably not get anything in return but I don't want anything. I know how crappy it feels to watch all the couples around you celebrate Valentine's Day. I just want to make it a little bit better for them. Besides, who ever said the day had to be just for lovers? Why can't it also be for great friends?

A Little Bit Neglected

So I may have been neglecting this blog recently. I started a new one to chronicle my student teaching days but that's not really an excuse. Not a good one anyway. I have lots of things I could talk about on this blog. Like how I went over to my old apartment and yelled at Garret one night. Or about how I have now gone to Old Port twice and had a blast both times. Or about the boys who I have been stood up by recently. Or I could post about Mel and how great she has been to me while I have been coping with my recent relationship status change. I could write about being single. There are so many things I could write about. Its strange. Normally when I don't write a lot it is because not a lot is going on. Usually I don't write because I am busy with school or work or both. Recently though I have just been busy doing and haven't taken the time to write and reflect. I think that is a good thing. It means I am busy. It means I am out living life and trying to create a new one. One that doesn't include Garret.

It's been a challenge, this making a new life. There are nights when I want to give up. night when I am so lonely I can't stand it anymore and I just want to call Garret and beg him to take me back. Slowly though I am learning how to keep those thoughts at bay. I go out. I see friends. I work on school work. I read. I write. Yes! I write! I have a few story ideas that I have been batting around in my head. I have bee posting one on here. I should really work on that one a little more. But I am busy with school recently.

Anyway, this was just a quick update to say that I haven't forgotten this blog and that I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth.

One Shot

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

~Lose Yourself by Eminem~

I have one shot alright. One shot to get through college. One shot to get my teaching degree. One shot to get as far from what I know and do what I want to do. Sometimes my dreams seem so crazy. I mean who would have ever thought that a poor girl from Orland would get into college. Who would have thought that she would be succeeding? Who would have thought she would be about to go into her student teaching? I am so close to having my dreams unfold that I can taste them. And sometimes I want it so bad that it hurts. I have been given this great opportunity to learn everything I need to in order to be a great teacher, to be better than any one would have ever imagined me to be. I can be something great. I can be a teacher and a writer. I can travel the world. I can be anything I want to be. I can feel myself getting closer and closer everyday. But every step is difficult. I have to remind myself every day that failure just isn't an option. Its succeed or do what my parents did. Work a job I hate so that I can eat.

I'd Rather Be Me

Baby, I can be whatever you want me to be
but just this once
I'd like to be me.

I can love the rain
and the smell in the air when
the leaves begin to fall.

I can be interested in anime
and be your own personal editor
of your latest manuscript.

I can go to all of your games
and root you on
in your path to greatness.

But just this once I would like to be me.

Jut this once I would like someone to
push me to be my best
to help me achieve my dreams
to cheer me on
to show me things about myself that I didn't know.

So baby, I can be whatever you want me to be
but I'd rather be me.

Can you handle that?