Sick Day

I know I haven't written on a week. But guess what?! I'm sick. I have a fever and a sore throat. Which means I have a ton of time today to catch up on posts that I have been meaning to write and haven't gotten to writing yet. So yeah, there will probably be about 3 or 4 today. I have been meaning to write. I have planning out what to write. I just haven't gotten around to writing it.

Here are a few things I have been meaning to write but haven't developed fully enough to make them into a complete post of their own.

--I have been dreaming of snow. It is always the same too. I dream that I wake up and it is still dark in my room so I look at the clock and it is 10 am. The sun should have been up a long time ago and it should be showing through my curtains some by now. But all the light is gray and the room is still dark despite the time of day. I climb out of bed and move the curtains aside to peer out and everything is white. Pure white. The buildings are covered in white powder inches and feet deep and the roads can no longer be made out under the white flakes. Even the air is white as the wind tosses and swirls big, delicately beautiful, pieces of frozen fluff all around. I cheer with excitement as I realize today is a snow day for sure. That is usually when I wake up, still half expecting the world outside my window to be white and pure.

--There is something about laying in bed at night with your arms around me that tells me more than anything you have said ever could. And when I say "I miss you" or "I will miss you" what I really mean to say is I still love you forever.

--The other day you asked me what it means when I smile and wink at you. I told you that if I told you it would ruin it. It would have ruined it then. It is something I have learned from my mom. It is how she used to tell us she loved us when she was too far away or there were too many people around. Even now I can see her face, her brown skin and black hair easily distinguishable among all the other faces in the crowd. It is the ending of a play and we have all come out to give our final bow. I search the faces for her and pick her out. She stands clapping and screaming more loudly than anyone else in the crowd and as I look at her she smiles and winks at me. That is how I knew my mother was proud of me. That was how I knew my mother loved me then maybe more than at any other time if it is even possible for a mother to love her child anymore than she already does. So what does it mean when I smile at you and wink? It means I love you. It means I am proud to call you mine.

--Sometimes all I want to hear you say is, "I want to see you" or "I need to see you".

--"I just spelled only wrong"
"Guess what I did?"
"You forgot to get a total."
"Yep."
"You have to call them back."
"Yep." It is at this point that we break into laughter.
"So I can't spell only and you can't remember to get a total."
"We suck at life so bad."
"I love you, Dani"
"I love you, too." It is more fun to laugh at yourself when you have a friend to do it with.