I used to worry all the time that someday I would wake up and realize that you were a dream, that you weren't real. You seemed too good to be true to me. And the life we talked about having seemed like a fairy tale. Now it is here. The nightmare has come real. You have left me and now I am all alone. I have to say though, it isn't a nightmare anymore.
I realized something. You will never find another girl like me. There will never be another girl who puts up with your idiosyncrasies like I did. And good luck finding one who is willing to not french kiss. There are a million things out there that I have always wanted to do and I have been worried that I wouldn't have time to do them. I now have all the time in the world. It might be years before I find someone else I am serious about. And honestly I am fine with that. I don't need someone else getting in the way of what I want to do.
I want to do things I will regret. I want to go out with my friends and have a good time. I want to flirt with random guys and feel like I am the sexiest girl alive. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to go to New York. I want to get back to acting and see how far it takes me. I want to be an amazing teacher who loves her students and is absolutely crazy about her job. I want to live somewhere other than Maine for a while. I want to have fun. I want to say and do whatever I want, when I want and as often as I want.
I have been holding back. You once told me that I am a ticking time bomb. I seem to have remembered exactly how that feels. And I like it.
Look out world, here I come.
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